Brock’s Home Birth

Brock’s birth 5/1/17 

I thoroughly enjoyed having the dance of life team assisting us with the birth of our first baby.  Connie was great with keeping me calm and fed, and Kathi helped me with different positions to speed things up when I wasn’t progressing.  The laboring tub was like a drug, I felt so comfortable birthing our baby at home. I honestly can’t wait to do it again with these ladies for my next baby!   

Josie’s Home Birth

Our Daughter Is Born 

The home birth story of Josie Ellen Kunisch 

I was awoken at 5 am on the morning of Thursday, May 2nd 2019. It was a familiar and long awaitedcramping, that I knew was the start of our birth journey together. You see, our first was born just over 5 weeks early. And although he was a planned homebirth this had to quickly change as a preterm baby. But that’s another story. However, this made our window of anticipation for our new arrival even greater. With a due date of April 24th (same as our first), we were a week overdue. Having anappointment, the day before in which Kathi swept my membrane, we knew it would be soon (they do eventually come out, right?). My body was very responsive to this going from 1cm to 3cm by the end of the somewhat uncomfortable process. I knew the work ahead of us and it was early yet, so I went back to bed. As I tried to get some rest I was consistently being woken up and heading to the bathroom during each cramp. By the time 6:30am rolled around, my husband Charlie and I were both up trying to gauge what needed to be done to prepare the day we had been waiting for. Now Carl, our 2 year old, usually wakes up at the faint sound of someone else being awake, this morning of all mornings we were so grateful for him still being in bed. At 6:55am I started to time my contractions as best I could. I texted my mother in law Ellen (she was going to watch Carl) and sister in law Kim (part of our birth team) to let them know things were happening but felt no need in rushing over. The surges were still just my back and not a squeezing sensation throughout my stomach. The next wave came at 7:02am, 7:06, 7:10, 7:18, 7:23 and at 7:28. I decided to shower to try to relax and buy some time before I called Kathi. I didn’t want to call her too early but wanted to give her enough time to reschedule her day. During this point from 7:28am to 7:37am I had 3 strong contractions in the shower. I was trying to wait until 8am to call but things were not slowing down. I got out of the shower and as quietly and quickly as I could, found my comfortable “labor” clothes. By now Carl was awake. Charlie was getting his breakfast and bags ready to spend his day with Grandma and his cousins. My shower did anything but slow things down. I began to walk aimlessly around trying to find my phone. After calling Kathi, she decided she would start heading my way with how I was progressing. I continually paced trying to figure out my next move, persistently calling to Charlie for his assistance as I rode each wave. I vividly remember having an out of body experience as I watched my husband care for Carl, made our necessary phone calls, prepped the birth tub and get our birth supplies in order. Words cannot express my gratitude for not only his focus and presence with me at each contraction, but also his support in the background getting done what was needed and allowing me to focus on our birth. All I could find myself able to do was continue to walk around and call to him each time a wave began. I decided I would try to sit down in hopes to slow it down and enjoy a moment with my son. He brought a couple of books to our big blue chaise lounge chair, often called our hound dog, Ragnar’s chair. As I tried so hard to sit comfortably and focus on my son to enjoy one of our favorite activities together, contraction after contraction I could not get through reading even one page. I remember feeling so sad to not share in this moment with him, but I needed to maintain my focus. He was such a trooper and was being well cared for, so I shouldn’t worry. I couldn’t worry. From 7:45am to 9am, everything sped up so fast. Charlie called Ellen to be sure she was on her way, since a 15 minute drive felt like forever in that moment. Silly me said no rush and baby had other plans. But in no time at all, Carl was off for a day at Grandma’s excited to play with cousins. Shortly after Kathi arrived. Then Kim. Then Katie and Johanna. Our team was all here. Check. Now I awaited the birth tub to be ready in our room. For this is what I had imagined my home birth to be like, laboring peacefully in the comforts of my bedroom. Nonetheless for whatever reason, I navigated toward this big blue chair while I awaited the tub. I remember trying to not get my hopes up for the birth tub to fit in our room and to be ok with laboring in the openness of our living room. I was so excited when we found out it would fit. Now here we were, everything was coming together. Walking around it wasn’t long 

before I found myself on my knees leaning over that blue chair again. This was my labor position. The tub wasn’t ready, but labor wasn’t slowing. 

Kathi said it was time to remove my clothes and gently said, we’re having this baby here. It was here I started to work against myself. I had a couple of break downs. Even though I was so excited for this moment, so passionate about labor and so ready to meet our baby. I was scared labor was moving too fast and my body wouldn’t be ready. I was scared to physically labor a full term baby. And mentally I was waiting for that tub. I needed a moment. And at this moment I’ll never forget Kathi’s embrace. Her faith in me and reminding me to have faith in the process. My body is ready. But my mind was not. The contractions continued and we worked together as a team, but labor slowed down. We moved to my bed, setting up in a similar position as I was on the blue chair. Contractions came and went but nothing like earlier. Alas the tub was ready. Check mate. The soreness in my hips was very evident and I could not wait to soak in that tub. It was like I could feel the weight lift off of my hips instantaneously as I submerged. This was it. I’m ready. In my mind this is where I needed to be. As I mentally tried to be in labor, the tub was not the place my body needed. It was soothing and relaxing to regain my strength, but it only slowed me down. From here everything is a blur. Labor had really stalled. I recall trying to squat on a workout ball, birthing stool, walk, trying to eat or climb the stairs. Rushes came here and there but no consistency. We joked about Ragnar staring ever so patiently at us through the front window. Avoiding to see a clock, I continued to move around while my team waited patiently. Never once telling me what I should be doing, just going with the flow of where I felt I should be. I began to get frustrated. Everything was here and in place, yet labor seemed to have taken a break. As much as I wanted to appreciate the rest, I wanted to meet our baby. At some point, Kathi sensed my frustration and came to check in with me. We decided I would try to sit on the toilet and push when a rush came to try to really get our momentum back. I just remember at some point my mentality switched and I had no more room for fear. I knew I was holding myself back. And I needed to refocus myself. I went back in the tub to relieve some hip pressure and as I got out again, I had a strong rush. It was here my water broke. I was asked where I wanted to go and for some reason that dang blue chair was my place. So back we all headed. Everyone quietly and peacefully shifting our supplies. And here we were again. This time, I was all in. Exhausted and mentally trying to get through the pain of transition, I leaned on my husband while Kim kept laying cool wash cloths on me. I remember squeezing both their hands. Trying to keep my breathing controlled and low. I could feel baby coming and had a strong burning sensation with each push. Everyone was so encouraging despite my exhaustion and discomfort. We truly were a team. As my baby began to do the “dance of life”, Kathi reminded me to not get discouraged that they were stretching my body. Let it happen. Suddenly, there was a very unmistakable and strong burning following a long hard push. This was the one I’ll never forget because following Kathi finally exclaimed the head is out! Just one more push and your baby will be born! The excitement, relief, empowerment and love all wrapped into one moment. One moment that truly stops time as you feel your baby enter into this world. Overwhelming euphoria. Gently and smoothly I was repositioned, and my baby was passed to me between my legs (I labored on all fours). Alas our baby was in my arms. At 4:07pm on May 2nd, 2019 our new little addition was finally here. Time continued to stand still as we all lived in this moment together. It’s difficult to find the right words to describe this. I recall looking to see the gender and just so overwhelmed with emotion I couldn’t speak. Someone exclaimed, it’s a girl! She just snuggled up against me, trying to look around. Not making much of a sound. I remember asking if she was ok? She was so quiet, much different from our son. I was just expecting they all “come out crying”. But not our Josie. She was here and happy and just enjoying her moment with us. We were all enjoying her first moments with us. The peace in her eyes as she looked around. The love and gratitude in the atmosphere as my husband and I welcomed our new family member. 

Now the placenta. I was able to have my son naturally, despite the hospitals wishes for me to be induced or possibly move towards a C-section. But when it came time to my placenta, I remember the doctor trying to tug on the cord to help “encourage” it to come out. I remember evening telling her she was hurting me, but she said that I could hemorrhage if it didn’t come out. Needless to say, I pushed it out fine after a brief moment relaxing. Fast forward to Josie’s placenta, I had some hesitation in passing it with this memory. But there was no rush and soon with a little push it came out very easily. Then off to bed we all went. Charlie, Josie and I all snuggled quietly in our bedroom, alone with an occasional check in. Such peace and thanks be to God! Kim was off making some of my favorites, pancakes and eggs. Kathi, Katie and Johanna quietly doing what was necessary with such respect and amity. After about an hour, Kathi quietly went through our 7 lb 2oz and 20 ½” long girl’s newborn exam on my bed. Including us as she completed her physical. Appreciating and enjoying all of our little one’s characteristics. 

A woman never forgets the work and endurance needed for labor, but she also never forgets the ecstatic feelings of strength and empowerment. She never forgets how she was treated, cared for and every little detail of dedication by her birth team. So much pride and love for God’s greatest gift.

Evie’s Home Birth

Evie James Moore, weighing 9.4 pounds 

My name is Kate Moore.  We had a home birth with Kathi a little over a year ago now.   I went into labor on Sunday night (Nov 18th) and was able to labor throughout the night sleeping on and off until about 430am.  I woke my husband up and he started helping me with hip compressions.  We labored for another 2 hours and it was pretty clear I was in active labor, so we called Kathi.  She arrived shortly after that and was so comforting and helpful.  She checked me and I was at an 8 and I got into the tub.  I labored for a while in there, but it just didn’t feel right to me, so we started to move into my bedroom and my water broke everywhere.  I’m pretty sure it got all over Kathi ha ha.   Then I started pushing on all fours in my bed, and Kathi was amazing!  She did counter pressure and oil the whole time and helped guide my breathing.  I didn’t have a single tear.   My daughter was born after about an hour of pushing.  She had the cord wrapped around her neck, but Kathi got her breathing and made sure that she was okay.  She also was so reassuring the entire time she was working on her.  My husband and I were not concerned at all.  The newborn exam was so gentle.  They made us some food and made sure that I was doing well physically as well as baby.  I cannot say enough about our home birth experience, as well as Dance of Life. 

Alex’s Home Birth

Alex James Coleman – March 16, 2010 

Contractions started around 12:58 am on Tuesday March 16th. The contractions were 7 minutes apart for about an hour and then they went to 5 minutes apart till about 3am. Then the hard stuff, 3 minutes apart. I passed the time by watching tv and bouncing on my exercise ball and walking around the kitchen. I was so thirsty; I think I drank a gallon of water that morning. Then I was asking myself when is the right time to call the midwife. So, after the great debate in my head I decided to call her around 4 am. I told her not to rush because Rory took 30 hrs for labor. So, I thought we had a long time for this baby to come out. But the midwife knew better, she had me go wake Chad up and get the pool ready. I was hesitant to wake Chad up; I just didn’t want to rush anyone or have him miss out on some more rest. I was totally in the mindset that this baby was coming but not for hours or days! I took Kathi’s advice and went and got Chad up, but I wasn’t in a hurry. I waited at least 30 minutes to tell him to set up the pool. But he jumped up with enthusiasm and was ready for our new little one to come. Kathi showed up around 5 am. She was ready to go, she brought in all her bags and started to set up for the “show.” I was checked at 5:30 am and I was at a 6 cm dilated! I was shocked, I keep saying this is too easy so far. I was so proud that this was happening so fast. Time to call in my support team! We called Miriam and Kim to get over asap! The gals put on a rush to get to our house with cameras in hand. They did an awesome job capturing this birth. I jumped into the nice warm pool to help relieve the back pressure, not sure if it really helped. I just felt confined in the pool, my knees kept falling asleep and I wasn’t comfortable, so Chad helped me out. From the time I woke up Chad was right there helping me; he would press on my back to help with the back labor. He didn’t leave my side the whole time and, in every picture, he was smiling, I couldn’t ask for a better partner and coach! Kathi watched me as the contractions come and go. She saw the last contraction I had before birth and was like I think it’s time for you to sit down on the potty and have a contraction. So, I was hesitant to listen, but I was done so I just went with what she said. I sat down and she just knew. My water broke and I was ready to push. I was asked where I wanted to labor, and I was out of it. So, she reacted quick and grabbed my exercise ball and I hunched over and pushed this baby out. It took 15 minutes to push our little one out. Rory was so cute for the labor she played in her rice. Then when the baby was coming out, she came over and was looking at this baby coming out. When the baby was out, she keeps pointing and saying “baby, baby.” I asked Chad to look and see what we had, and I was shocked to hear we had a little boy! Words couldn’t describe our joy at that moment. He was born at 9:01 am, March 16th. Chad got to cut the cord and hold our little one. Then the little bit of complications came. I was losing a lot of blood. I got two shoots of Pitocin in the leg to help stop the bleeding and a few other things to help. After an hour or so I was in the good, not to much bleeding any more (I lost about 6 cups). So, I wasn’t going anywhere, I was planted on the floor for the rest of the day. Chad sat with me as we decided the name of our new little guy. Alex James was what his name is. He was such a big boy, we were excited to find out how much he weighed. I knew he was at least 10 lbs, but come to fine out he was 10 lb 14 oz! He looked so good and healthy and chubby. Instant love… 

Alex 2010

Alex 2020

Cole’s Home Birth Story

I was 4 days past my due date and extremely discouraged that I didn’t have my baby in my arms yet. I’m a doula, I know better, a due date is just a guess date, but I was still frustrated. My mom was in town for the birth and scheduled to leave in 3 days! What if she came into town for the birth and MISSED it?! That was the most stressful part of waiting for me, because I needed my mom there! Thankfully, Friday October 30th, I woke up at 2am with contractions. I was THRILLED! I didn’t wake Jimmy and I just let my body do its thing. They were mild enough that I could fall asleep between them but continued steadily at 5 minutes apart until about 6am. I woke Jimmy at 5 and told him not to go into work because today was the day! I got out of bed around 7 when Kennedy woke up and excitedly told my mom! Not long after Kennedy woke up did I notice my contractions slow way down. I have heard that this can happen when you have other children, that your body can just push pause on labor because you are needed by your other children. Well, that sucks I thought! Jimmy wasted a precious day off for nothing. But, it was pretty nice because my mom stayed with Kennedy and Jimmy and I were able to take a long walk around the neighborhood together while I pounded some red raspberry leaf tea. I was having contractions still but they were like 10 minutes apart and not consistent or very long. We got back from our walk and I decided to join my mom and Kennedy on their trip to Meijer. The contractions slowed down even more. I was pretty bummed. When we got home, I took a nap as my contractions had completely stopped. Around 4pm, we all decided to walk to Family Video to rent a movie. It’s about a 2 mile walk round trip and we had made that trip countless times that week hoping to kick start labor. Sure enough, my contractions started back up! By the time we left Family Video, I needed to stop and breathe through each one. They were getting stronger but were still very manageable. On our walk home, they were about 7 minutes apart and I was so hopeful that today was still the day! We ordered Chinese takeout for dinner and I had maybe 2 bites. A true sign that I was really in labor, as I hate eating during it. The contractions slowly got closer together but I managed them well by just breathing and swaying my hips. By 6:30pm I decided to call my midwife, Kathi, and give her an update. My contractions were 4-5 minutes apart but were still totally manageable. I told her that I wasn’t ready for her to come yet. She kept asking me, “Are you sure?” I was sure. At this point, I actually thought to myself, “Maybe I got better at giving birth, this really isn’t that hard!” and “I’m way tougher now than I was when I had Kennedy!” HAHA oh how cute and naïve of me!

I switched up positions and labored on the birthing ball a little and read books to Kennedy before she went to bed. It was a little emotional for me knowing she would wake up and she would no longer be the baby. Jimmy put Kennedy to bed at 7 and almost instantly my contractions kicked it up a notch! They were getting more intense where I would require my mom to give counter pressure on my back. I started to quietly moan through each contraction. We continued watching Last Man Standing and I took each contraction as they came, still thinking it would be a long time before the baby was born. At 8:30pm, I had an exceptionally harder contraction and I felt two pops and my water broke while I was standing in the dining room. That was a new feeling since I didn’t feel my water break with Kennedy as it happened while I was pushing during her birth. I changed and told Jimmy to call Kathi pronto! I knew my labor was about to get SO much harder. I even texted my friend Leslie saying, “My water broke. I’m scared.” I’m pretty sure she said, “You should be. I’ll pray for you! HAHA” We laughed about it and I was right, the contractions instantly became harder. It was right then that I felt like I actually was in labor!
Kathi didn’t answer when Jimmy called but she called me right back in between contractions and I told her my water had broken. She immediately said, “I’ll be right over!” She arrived at 9pm along with Tianne, a missionary midwife who works in Sudan and who attended Kennedy’s birth and just happened to be back in TC for the month and was able to attend another birth of ours, AND Kristen, a nurse and student midwife who I just met for the first time that night. I was still chatty between contractions so I was happy to see everyone all huddled in my bathroom, setting up for the birth. Jimmy set up the birth tub and quickly tried to fill it (I had told him I wasn’t ready for the tub all night so he was scrambling knowing it was time!) Each contraction came intensely and close together and I needed hard counter pressure on my back with each one.
I got in the tub around 9:30 and had found my groove for each contraction. I needed to be holding Jimmy or someone’s hands while my mom or the midwives provided counter pressure. Contractions were incredibly close together, giving me about 15-30 seconds of a break between each one. Occasionally I would get a minute or so break between them and I began to DREAD that because that meant that the next contraction would be horrible and last about 2 minutes. Which, if you’ve ever given birth, you know that’s like an eternity! At one point, I asked for prayer and everyone in the room took turns praying over my labor and my sweet boy. It was such a memorable moment that I will never forget.

My contractions were getting really strong at this point. To be real, it was so hard, it hurt, and I had awful back labor but my attitude this labor was so much different than it was during Kennedy’s. I was very much able to focus on each contraction and I didn’t let myself think about the future contraction. I dealt with each hard one as it came. I actually didn’t even get checked the entire labor, we just let my body do what it needed to do knowing the baby would come when he was ready. I had such an amazing birth team, everyone alternated giving me counter pressure, holding my hands, and keeping the tub warm.

Things were getting pretty intense and Kathi was surprised that I hadn’t had the urge to push yet. So she suggested I get out of the tub to pee to see if that was what was holding things up. So around 11, as soon as my feet left the tub, a huge contraction hit me like a train as I leaned into Kathi’s arms! I looked down, saw blood on my leg and screamed with excitement, “YES! BLOOD!!!!” Hahaha! Weird I know, but I knew that meant that I was almost done! My baby was going to be there so soon! I made it to the bathroom, peed, and then my next contraction came. I was standing in the middle of the bathroom yelling that I was pooping. I knew I wasn’t and that my body was starting to push but I said it anyway. I was leaning heavily into Jimmy’s arms, still needed counter pressure, and pushing while standing in my bathroom. At some point, I realized it probably wasn’t the best idea to give birth to my baby while standing up but I physically wasn’t able to move beyond a few steps. I couldn’t make it to the bed or back to the birthing tub so I just dropped to my hands and knees in the crammed carpeted space between my bathroom and bed and decided that right there was where I was going to have my baby! It wasn’t exactly an ideal spot to give birth but that’s where it was happening! Thankfully, I have a strong husband because while pushing I was still leaning into him with my whole body weight/pulling his shirt/biting him. Haha he handled it and supported me like such a rockstar!!!! It felt so comforting burying my head into his chest with each push. It really felt like we were “doing it together” as I pushed to meet our son. Only 20 minutes of pushing later, and at 11:35pm Cole Joseph Kraus was born! He was passed under my legs and into my arms! He was 8lbs 4 oz, 20.5 in long, and had a head full of dark hair! It was such an incredible birth experience! I couldn’t have done it without the help of Jimmy and my mom and our 3 amazing midwives! We got to cuddle our sweet boy in bed, he nursed like a pro, and Kennedy was overjoyed when she met him in the morning! Just like that, we became a family of four!

Ramona’s Birth Story

On Thursday, January 23rd, the day before my sister’s birthday, I awoke with Rob in the morning like usual. Who knew that would be the last time it was just us! I took a shower and got ready for work, noticing some mild contractions (I thought they were just Braxton Hicks contractions, but they were probably real) and a teensy bit of bloody mucous. Not thinking anything of it, I ate breakfast and went to work. It was around 8am at this time.

While at work, the contractions continued, but I still kept thinking “This can’t be the real thing.. it’s really not that bad!” I had a little bit more mucous/bloody show and I took the boss’s dog for a walk, which didn’t make the contractions go away. Thinking that this could be it, I told Mary (my boss) that I should go home and try to figure out if this is real labor or not. I stopped at Meijer on the way home to get a few last minute groceries.

Rob and I took a long walk with Jackson (our black lab/retriever mix) when I got home. My contractions still did not go away, but did not get stronger. I called my midwife, Kathi, CPM, and explained to her what was happening. She told me it was probably pre-labor, and that it could last a whole week or just a day. As we all know, birth is very unpredictable!

So, Rob and I went about our day as normal, watching the Wizard of Oz and dozing off for a short nap. We cleaned a little here and there. I washed the sheets and baked chocolate chip cookies. Then it came time for Rob to leave for work. I decided to tell him to go, since nothing had gotten stronger and the contractions had pretty much stopped since I woke up from the nap. He left and I spent the rest of the evening relaxing and reading.

Around 7pm, I decided to take a warm bath. As soon as I drained the bathwater and stood up, I had more bloody show and the contractions started again, this time a little more intense, although I STILL did not believe it was the real thing! I decided to make myself some dinner. I guess in some part of my brain, I figured I’d need the energy. In between chopping up green pepper and mashing avocado for my veggie burger wrap, I’d lean against the counter and breathe through contractions. (I still did not believe it was actually happening at this point, despite my frequent trips to the bathroom to urinate with bloody show.) After eating my dinner, I got ready for bed and texted my doula and friend, Ashley, about what was going on. She called and told me that if I was having bloody show, my cervix was doing at least SOMETHING, and I probably wasn’t just being a big wuss like I thought. I said I’d let her know when things get more intense, because I still didn’t feel like the contractions were that big of a deal.

I laid down and tried to get comfy enough to fall asleep. After about 5 minutes, I had to get up to pee again and as soon as I started to stand, the intense contractions began. I called my husband at work, and he did not answer his phone. I tried the land line and told the hostess to tell my husband, Rob Stucky, that this is his wife on the phone and she thinks she’s in labor! He quickly came to the phone and I was breathing heavy and told him, “I think I need you now!!” Rob started heading home and called me on the way so he could listen to me through a contraction, telling me to breathe. I just kept thinking “I must be a huge wuss because I’m not going to be able to handle this for 12 or more hours!! (First births usually last on average 12-24 hours, USUALLY!)

While waiting for Rob to get home, I french braided my hair in between contractions, because I didn’t want to deal with hair in my face while in labor! I also started texting my sister to tell her that her husband Jay was probably going to be right about the date my baby would be born, but I had to drop my phone and lost my train of thought because a strong contraction hit right then. I was standing in the bathroom, moving my hips back and forth and breathing when Rob walked in.

I told him to call Kathi, and he did. She talked to me for a minute and listened through a couple contractions. They were very close together at this point, but it was hard to tell exactly when they were stopping and starting. Kathi told Rob to start timing them and to call her back when they were consistently 40-50 seconds and 1 minute apart. As soon as he hung up and started timing them, they were 45 seconds and about a minute apart! I was naked in the bathtub at this point, with bloody show dripping and on my knees. I tried to stand up and put my arms around Rob a few different times. My poor husband was running around rearranging the bedroom and trying to set up the birth tub when I would yell, “Baaaby!” and he would come in and hold my hand while I had a contraction. I told him to call Kathi, that this wasn’t right, it was happening too fast! He called and she said she would be on her way. Rob called Ashley, my doula, as well. She said she’d be there as soon as she could.All I remember thinking was “I must be a huge wuss.. how can women tolerate this for so long??” But I never felt like it was actual pain or that it hurt.. just some really intense feelings.

Kathi got there first and began setting everything up. I was still in the bathtub when she came in and I asked her to check my cervix for dilation when I was able to talk. Ashley arrived sometime around this point. We got to the bedroom and I had a couple contractions on the bed before Kathi was able to check my cervix. When she was able to, she said something like, “Oh, I feel a little bubble… and… Jeanne, you’re completely dilated!” I think I said, “Oh boy, oh boy!! Oh, wow!” And smiled a lot! I couldn’t believe it! I wasn’t a wuss after all! The whole time I thought I was in the first stage of labor, I was actually much further along than that! Nicole, Kathi’s assistant midwife (also CPM) arrived around this time as well. Rob called my mom, who had planned to be here for the birth and lived about an hour away. She’d be on her way as soon as she could!

I got down on the floor on the plastic table cloth that was originally going to be under the tub and someone put some chux pads down under me, since we wouldn’t have time to fill up the tub. I was on my hands and knees and asked Ashley what it would feel like when I needed to push (even though I already knew, I guess I needed some reassurance). She told me it would feel like I needed to poop and I would know. I said, “Okay, I’m pretty sure it’s happening now!” Just then, with a mighty splash and burst, my water broke! I didn’t see it, but it sounded and felt like a water balloon. I thought that was pretty cool! Right after that, with every contraction came pushing. I don’t think I even tried to control or think about what I was doing, I just let my body do the work.

Rob was sitting right in front of me, holding my hands. So much for that dinner I felt like I needed to have, since I threw up with pretty much every contraction! I’d throw up, then chug water, and so on. Ashley was to my left, taking pictures, Kathi was behind me, massaging my perineum with oil and pressing where I needed to focus my energy while pushing, and Nicole was to Kathi’s right taking notes and assisting Kathi. After about 30 or 40 minutes when I finally shouted “FUCKEEEER!!” (not usually in my vocabulary), I decided to get on my bottom, in between Rob’s legs with my knees up in the air. It felt really good to be supported by my strong and amazing husband, and hold my knees to focus my energy down and out. It didn’t take long after getting in this position to make a lot of progress! I felt very loved and supported the entire time. I remember yelling a lot, and thinking I sounded like a ferocious lion roaring. I’d bear down and roar each time I felt a push coming on.

Finally someone grabbed my hand and put it where I could feel my baby’s head coming out. “Oh baby, oh baby!” I said with smiles and felt so much emotion. I wasn’t long before the baby’s head was crowning and Kathi told me to just breathe, don’t push. “I have to push!!” I yelled. She said, “Ok, tiny pushes.” With tiny pushes and breathing, my little one slipped out perfectly with ease. I opened my eyes and couldn’t believe our baby was finally here! It was 11:46 pm. I reached down and pulled her up to my belly. Rob said, “It’s a girl!” and called her Ramona right away. I guess the name just fit her! I brought Ramona up to my chest and just kept looking at her over and over, tears forming in my eyes. I couldn’t believe how lucky we are to have such a perfect angel, covered in thick, sticky vernix! Our own little sticky Stucky! I kissed Rob and we said I love you to each other and our new, sweet baby. The midwives wrapped Ramona in blankets and towels so she didn’t get cold. Ramona latched on like a pro.

After about 10 minutes, Kathi told me to push out the placenta whenever I felt a contraction, so I did. It felt so slippery and good! Soon after, Rob cut the cord. It was so gristly and cool! Ashley brought me some Emergen-C to chug since I’d thrown up so much. Shortly thereafter, I was assisted onto the bed and nursed Ramona. I couldn’t believe how well she nursed right away! My mom arrived around this time to meet her new granddaughter. She was surprised to see a new baby already born when she walked into the bedroom! Ashley made me scrambled eggs and toast with peanut butter. I didn’t feel much like eating, because I was so enthralled in our new family and overjoyed with the wonderful feelings of natural birth.

Kathi and Nicole checked me and found no tears or anything, just swelling. I took some homeopathic arnica and Nicole gave me an ice pad to put on my soreness. It really didn’t hurt that bad at all! I remembered my midwife asking if I was afraid of pain in childbirth at my most recent prenatal appointment. I told her I wasn’t afraid and that pain is just a state of mind.. but ask me again after I’ve given birth! Well, we remembered that conversation and I told her that no, I had not changed my mind about pain even after giving birth!

Kathi and Nicole did Ramona’s newborn exam about an hour or two after she was born. Everything looked great! Ramona is a perfect beautiful little girl. At birth, she weighed 6 lbs 10 oz, was 20 ¼ inches long, and couldn’t be more adorable! She has Rob’s eyes and ears, and my nose and lips. She has a sweet little birthmark on her head, about the size of a wild strawberry. Her chin is kind of long and pointy like Rob’s, and she looks like the perfect combination of him and I!

All night I lay awake gazing at our beautiful daughter, in complete awe of what had just occurred. I’m writing this 6 days later, and I still feel like I’m dreaming! Rob and I couldn’t be happier and my birth couldn’t have been more easy and enjoyable than it was. Everything went so perfectly. We both feel really lucky.

Life is but a dream!


As a side note, Ramona’s birthday was the first of two more baby girls in a row for my midwife during Northern Michigan’s snowiest and coldest winter in a long time!

Ciaran’s Birth

Ciaran Louis, 7 lbs, 21″. Born at 1:57 AM on his due date, August 9, 2015.

My son Ciaran was born at home, in the big, warm tub my husband set up in our living room. Even now, more than 19 months later, I find myself thinking about the experience – I’ll catch sight of the spot on our bedroom floor where I realized I was in transition, or I’ll have a sudden, visceral memory of sitting on the edge of my bed, rocking rhythmically between contractions. I was by turns excited and worried about giving birth at home, sometimes keeping myself up at night with endless what ifs. But when it came down to it, Ciaran’s birth was everything I hoped it would be. It was quick, but not too quick – I was in definite labor for only about seven hours, and only the last two hours were really hard to handle. I only pushed for nine minutes, and didn’t tear at all. The midwives made it here just under forty-five minutes before he was born, and he obligingly arrived on his due date. While I was in the worst of it, I know it didn’t seem like a good experience, and yet, the moment he was out, it became one. His birth made me feel powerful, and weirdly, intuitively attuned to my body in a way I didn’t realize I could be. It made me appreciate my body and what it’s capable of so much more than I already did. And it relieved the residual ache left behind by my first birth experience.

I gave birth once before, to our daughter, who is now five years-old. Part of the reason Ciaran’s birth was such a powerful experience for me, I think, is that our daughter’s birth felt incredibly disempowering. She was born in a hospital in Baltimore with the help of Certified Nurse Midwives, and while nothing terrible happened during her birth, the experience still left me feeling weak and strangely ashamed. Despite the fact that it allowed CNMs to practice there, the hospital, it turned out, was not very friendly toward women who wanted to labor naturally. I can still remember the bored eyes of the nurses and the wide stares of the two kids and their fathers sitting with us in the cramped waiting room (there weren’t any beds available when I arrived, and then they kept taking back women who were scheduled for inductions before they would take me). Because I felt incapable of moving or vocalizing at all during the contractions with so many eyes upon me, I squeezed my husband’s hands until their backs were stippled with broken capillaries. When I was finally given a room, I was immediately offered an epidural, despite the fact that I’d specifically asked not to be offered one in my birth plan, and I was feeling so vulnerable that I agreed. I also felt like I simply couldn’t do it any longer; my contractions were on top of each other, I was shaking uncontrollably and nauseated, and yet, because I was only three centimeters dilated, both the nurse and the midwife insisted I couldn’t be in transition yet. (They were in for a surprise when I ended up dilating from five to ten centimeters in less than half an hour).

We moved from Maryland to Traverse City when our daughter was a toddler, and I started meeting women – lots of women – who had given birth at home with the help of Dance of Life. All of their recommendations were glowing, and my husband, Stu, and I knew that when we had another baby, we wanted to have him or her at home. I got pregnant soon after, and we scheduled a meeting with Kathi, but I lost the baby before we were able to meet. Because I didn’t have any other provider to talk to, I called Kathi when I started bleeding, and even though she had never met me in person, she was so kind and so patient. I got pregnant again, and, again, miscarried, though this time we managed to meet both Kathi and Katy before it happened. Again, Kathi was wonderful when I called her; she knew exactly what to say in a situation when there is so little you can say.

Finally, I got pregnant again, and this time, it stuck. Every appointment with Kathi, Katy, and Nicole was leisurely and thorough. They had answers to all my questions, and even my mom – who was more than a little nervous about my decision to give birth at home – felt better after she came with me to an appointment. My pregnancy continued without complications, though in the last few weeks I had so many regular, strong Braxton-Hicks contractions that I kept thinking I was going to go into labor early.

On the day before my due date, I told Stu I had to get out the house – I was going to drive myself (and probably him) crazy if I didn’t keep busy and get my mind off wondering when our son would decide it was time to enter the world. Our daughter was born a week after her due date, so I knew I might have awhile to wait, still, anyway. We went to our friends’ house; their second daughter had just been born two weeks earlier, and they generously offered to have us over for dinner!

Throughout the five or so hours we were there, I started having the same strong, regular Braxton-Hicks that I’d been having for weeks already. I didn’t think too much of them, though, even when they started coming close enough together that it felt like there was no break. I was also starving – I ate three helpings of pasta and meatballs and my weight in chips and a spicy habanero salsa that my friend swore had helped her go into labor. In hindsight, my hunger should have been a sign that things were happening – this was August, and for several weeks I’d had almost no appetite because of the heat.

As Stu backed the car out of the driveway around 7:00 PM, I had what felt like a real contraction – not horribly painful, but enough to take my breath away. Without saying anything to Stu, I took out my phone and opened the contraction timing app I’d downloaded. I had several more contractions on the way home, again very manageable, though strong enough that Stu noticed something was going on. They were sporadic, although they were lasting a minute each, and despite the fact that I felt fairly positive this was the beginning of labor, I kept telling Stu I wasn’t sure. When we got home, I managed to put our daughter to bed as usual, pausing halfway through a lullaby to breathe through a contraction.

Stu went to bed at 8:00, worried about being in top form when I really needed him, and I labored on my own for about three hours. I bounced on my birth ball while watching something mindless on Netflix, ate half a pint of double-chocolate gelato (I was still starving!), and paused to lean over the ball and breathe through contractions. They were coming every three to twenty minutes, too sporadic for me to be sure anything was going to happen soon, but they were strong enough and lasting long enough that I wondered. Around 10:00 I decided to try to lie down and see if the contractions slowed down. Instead, they intensified; suddenly, breathing through them wasn’t enough, and purely by instinct I started moaning, deep and low, to get through them.

Sometime after 11:00 I called Kathi; I was worried about her getting to our house on time, since she was 40 minutes away at her family reunion. But because my contractions were still very sporadic she told me to call back when they had been 3-5 minutes apart for an hour. The intensity of them made me think things were happening faster than she realized, and in hindsight, I know I should have told her that. But instead I agreed. Half an hour or so later, I realized I was making so much noise during a contraction that I should wake Stu; I told him to call my parents to come pick up our daughter. I gathered the last of the things our daughter needed to bring with her, trying to explain to her, in her half-asleep state, what was happening, and having to stop every couple of minutes to drop to my hands and knees on the floor and moan through a contraction while she looked on, thoroughly bemused. I remember wondering where on earth Stu was and why he wasn’t helping me get stuff together (it turns out he had started filling the birth pool). When my parents arrived, I frantically said to Stu, “I’m not coming out, I don’t want to see them!” I was between contractions, sitting on our bed and rocking rhythmically back and forth; I’d begun doing a deep, slow breathing pattern between each contraction. I don’t exactly know why; again, it was automatic, as though my body had taken over from my brain and knew what to do on its own. Those slow, deep breaths, when I was just waiting for a contraction to start, helped me feel present and in control, and I didn’t feel like I could handle anyone seeing me just then. Really, I think that’s what made this birth so much better for me than our daughter’s – I didn’t have people watching me and intruding at all until the midwives arrived, and by then I was so far gone it would hardly have mattered who was in the room. )And they managed to be as un-intrusive as it is possible to be under the circumstances!).

I’d been timing the contractions with my phone’s app, but all of a sudden – only minutes after my parents left – they started coming so fast that I couldn’t time them anymore. I’d left my phone on the counter in the bathroom when I peed between contractions; the bathroom is about five steps away from where I was in our bedroom, but suddenly there wasn’t time between the contractions to get there. I vaguely remember finding myself halfway to the bathroom on my hands and knees, managing to shout at Stu, “Call Kathi!” between gritted teeth.

Everything that happened after that is something of a blur. I didn’t move from that spot on the floor – I couldn’t. It felt like transition hit me, bam, and all I could do was hold on as my legs started shaking and I began to feel nauseated (though by some miracle, I never threw up). I can’t remember what the contractions felt like anymore, but I do remember that as each one peaked I started screaming, and nothing could have stopped me. Once, in the brief space between contractions I tried to remind myself to breathe through it – almost everything I’d read and watched about natural birth talked about how screaming wasn’t productive, low tones or breathing were better, etc, etc. So with the next contraction I deliberately tried to stick with my steady breathing… until it began to peak, and then I thought, Forget that, and began to scream. While screaming didn’t precisely help the pain, it seemed to release something within me. I’d had no idea I would be so loud during labor, since I forced myself to be mostly silent during my first birth, and briefly wondered what our poor neighbors must be thinking, but the next contraction drove those concerns away.

Stu appeared beside me and told me the tub was ready. I remember the warmth of the water and the brief – too brief – sensation of absolute bliss when I entered it. It didn’t last, but being in the tub definitely was better than being out of it.

Kathi arrived just after I’d gotten into the tub. I remember Stu’s voice in my ear telling me Kathi was here, and then I remember glancing over my shoulder at her when I heard her enter the room, trying to smile, saying hi, and then turning away again. At some point soon after, her midwife-in-training, Ireland, arrived, and I vaguely remember being introduced to her but not really registering her face or anything else.

I remember telling Kathi when she first arrived that I didn’t think I was handling things well, and then announcing that I felt a lot of pressure. She told me I could push if I wanted, and I asked if she needed to check how dilated I was first. She said no, to go ahead and push if it felt right. (She later told me she knew from the way I was acting, and from where I felt the pressure and the pain in my back, that I was almost certainly fully dilated. I never had to be checked, which was SO different from being in the hospital, where they checked me constantly. I have a condition called Vulvodynia, which makes inserting or removing anything from my vagina extremely painful, so being checked multiple times while in labor was not a pleasant experience).

Kathi and Ireland were also incredible at anticipating what I needed before I even knew it, myself. I remember at one point Kathi put a cold wash cloth against my forehead, and it was the best feeling – I hadn’t even realized how incredibly hot I was.

At some point I began pushing without meaning to. My water hadn’t broken yet, and a small part of me worried that all the pressure I was feeling was just the water bag and that Ciaran wasn’t actually as close to being born as I thought. And then there was pain unlike anything I’d ever felt – I screeched, and Kathi said, “It’s just your body stretching,” and I didn’t believe her at all. Tearing was one of my bigger fears, since I tore fairly badly with Jane and recovery was so very slow as a result, and this felt like my perineum was being sliced by a knife. (I hadn’t really allowed myself to worry too much about how the Vulvodynia would affect me during birth, and while I was actually giving birth this time, I wasn’t in a state of mind of think rationally that, perhaps, the condition might be the cause of the excruciating pain). Kathi seemed a little surprised by the strength of my reaction as I stretched, but she was calm and told me when to stop pushing and just blow, and she put her hands against me to support my muscles as the baby began to crown. She told me he was crowning, and then seconds later said the head was out. I don’t remember how his body came out – whether I pushed or if it just emerged on its own – only that there was an odd sensation of something being flipped very quickly. I learned later that was the cord, which had been around Ciaran’s neck. He was still under the water, and somehow I found myself off my knees and sitting on the low bench inside the pool, and then suddenly he was in my arms, pale and not crying.

It was less than thirty seconds before he pinked up and cried, but those seconds felt very long. But oh, then he was so perfect. I remember looking around in amazement at everyone in the room – Katy had apparently arrived at some point while I was pushing without my being at all aware of it; she was still dressed for the wedding she’d been attending when Kathi called her as backup, just in case she herself wasn’t able to make the drive in time!

There were pieces of something brown in the pool, and for a horrified moment I thought it was my poop, that they hadn’t bothered with the little fish net that came in our birth box and that Ciaran had been born into poop-filled water – one of my mother’s biggest worries about my having a water birth – but Kathi laughed and reassured me that it was just bits of my mucus plug, which had come out just before he was born. My water had apparently broken just minutes before he was born, as well. Both of these were things that I’d been looking for for weeks as signs that labor was starting, and the fact that neither happened until birth was imminent is just more proof that labor absolutely does not progress the same way for all women, not the way they seemed to assume it did at the hospital where I had my daughter, where they were trained to see labor at formulaic.

After the placenta was out and had been declared healthy and intact, Kathi showed me the Tree of Life pattern in the branching veins along its backside. Then the midwives helped me get settled in bed, brought me some toast with honey and some orange juice, and left Stu, Ciaran, and me to bond for an hour or so while they cleaned up in the living room.

They weighed Ciaran, checked my blood pressure, and made sure he was nursing well, and then left us to snuggle and get to know each other, Kathi saying she’d be back the next day to see how we were doing. The whole experience was wonderful.

Born in a Blizzard

by Maria Bangs

Jesse, my older brother, was the only baby of my mother’s who was not delivered with a midwife. My own mom had an experience similar to so many mothers engaged in the conventional medical model of birth. Her doctor was not there to assist in labor, only arrived shortly before his birth, and after having Jesse pulled from her with forceps, my mother sought other options with the rest of her children.

When I told her I wanted a home birth, she said, ‘Just promise me you will go to the hospital if something happens.’

‘I’m not stupid, Mom, the health and safety of me and my baby is obviously most important’ I sighed, ‘I just want to have the opportunity to birth my baby uninterrupted, and not have to fight a system that practices the opposite of that.’ Plus, I hate hospitals. Perhaps if I went to the hospital any time other than when my mom is there, I might feel differently. There is no love lost between me and the hospital, and I don’t care how good the food is. I trusted my midwife as a professional and an expert on natural birth. ‘I want you there, Mom. I need you at my birth, for support.’

I had been in Michigan for about five minutes before I became pregnant, so I had absolutely no idea where I was going to find a midwife who did home births. We found Kathi on the Internet, and I instantly knew after just fifteen minutes on her site, that she’d be the one delivering our baby. Her office was in her home, and after a short phone call to set an appointment, Dan and I found ourselves sitting in her living room flipping through books of all the births she had attended. Seventeen years of babies born at home. And even some that weren’t.

Kathi was amazing. Every question, concern, anxiety she listened and provided me with information. Every appointment was not only the standard pre-natal visits of checking protein in the urine, weight gain, and listening to fetal heart tones, but it was a pregnancy counseling session. At my 24 week appointment, on all fours, she demonstrated how to rock my pelvis to begin coaxing the baby into an optimal position for birth. We drank tea, and laughed, Kathi and her assistants Katy and Allie, as I talked about my pregnancy, what I was feeling, and discussions about birth. I left every appointment feeling peace about my baby and my pregnancy, good energy, and books tucked into my purse.

I certainly worried. I worried there was something wrong. I was sick to my stomach some days thinking there was going to be something we didn’t catch, some pathology. I worried ab
out the unknowns. I told Dan the day of our ultrasound that we had to be prepared to say goodbye to this baby if we did indeed find problems which would only ultimately lead to his death.

I ate an organic (mostly) diet, high in protein, calcium, omega-3?s and leafy greens. I swam at the beach, dove off the piers, surfed in the waves up until 16 weeks. I walked daily, sometimes several miles, and at nine months I was substitute teaching and climbing the sledding hills with the kids. I saw the chiropractor, a woman who had delivered all four of her whopper babies (the smallest was 10 pounds) at home with Kathi, and she also felt the baby’s positioning and adjusted me to aid in preparing my body for birth. I practiced pre-natal yoga and the exercises recommended by Kathi, and I don’t think I sat on the couch the last month of my pregnancy. Dan encouraged me to take yoga classes, see the chiropractor, and he treated me to a maternity massage each trimester. My midwife constantly fed me information, and listened to all my fears, concerns and scheduled time into our appointments to do so. At no point did I feel as though a natural birth at home wasn’t possible, and I approached childbirth as the most difficult physical feat I was ever going to engage in.

At my 12 week appointment, Kathi, normally ambivalent about the necessity of ultrasound, recommended one for the purpose of placenta placement. At that point there was an indication it could be placenta previa, a rare condition where the placenta covers the cervix, and an absolute need for cesarean. You can’t birth the placenta before the baby without putting both woman and baby at grave risk. We scheduled blood work to be done the same day. The ultrasound revealed the placenta was indeed attached to the anterior wall, which wasn’t ideal, but it was not covering the cervix so a natural birth would be possible. Since everything else checked out with the lab work and the ultrasound, there was no need to visit radiology or the hospital again.

The full moon rose and the sun moved into Aquarius on January 19, 2011. I was 38 weeks, and it was a Wednesday. I woke up that morning to the feeling of a head between my legs. Walking more resembled waddling, and I had a hard time standing still. I took a sub job that day, and as I walked out of school I announced the next time I’d see them again, I would not be pregnant.

Thursday I dusted my baseboards and ceiling fans. My mom was due to fly in on Monday from Colorado, and I just had to get through the weekend and the baby could come. Kathi, Katy and Allie had been to our house the week before for our home visit to make sure we were prepared for a birth at home. We had our birth kit, our bag of linens, towels, receiving blankets, hats. The battery on the camera was charged. I planned to hit the grocery store the next day to stock up on our dwindling supply of groceries. I was ready for the race called birth, even if I wasn’t so sure about motherhood. I made some calls after watching Jeopardy to ensure everyone I was indeed still pregnant.

Dan was watching a Netflix as I dosed off for the night around 10pm. He was just going to bed for the night when I sat up quickly, ‘My water just broke.’ I went to the bathroom, and sure enough, broken waters. I checked the time, it was ten minutes to one. I had to call Kathi. Ruptured membranes warranted a call to the midwife, even in the middle of the night.

‘No contractions yet,’ I told her. ‘I’ll call you when things get serious.’ I hung up the phone and said to Dan ‘You get some rest. I’ll wake you when I need your help.’ I figured I’d be laboring for several hours before I would need Dan’s support. In the meantime I ate leftovers and turned on Conan. Contractions started, and by the time Conan was over, I was too restless to sit. I paced and tried going back to bed but the contractions were keeping me from being able to lay still. They were getting pretty close together. I checked the time again and it was only 2am. Things were progressing much faster than I expected, so I woke Dan up. We timed a few contractions and they were three minutes apart.

‘That can’t be right. Time the next one.’ Same thing. It had only been an hour since my waters broke, this was supposed to take ten. We timed them again. I got in the shower to see if they would slow down, and they only became more intense. We timed contractions for an hour, and they remained ninety seconds long and three minutes apart. It was 3am and outside was puking fat flakes, and our unplowed road was drifting.

I lay on the floor while Dan called Kathi. This was happening. I couldn’t believe we were making the call to the midwife to come to our birth. I’d been waiting for this moment, dreaming about it, worrying, and here it was. I spoke with Kathi as well and apologized for it being the middle of the night, ‘But with the snow, and us being out of town…’

‘I will see you soon, Maria. Just keep working.’

After I hung up the phone, I asked Dan to make me a grilled ham and cheese. We grabbed the camera and took the last pregnancy pictures. I could only finish half the sandwich before labor became work and my appetite vanished.

It was ninety minutes until Kathi and the other ladies arrived. In that hour and half I moved from the toilet to the bedroom floor to the bed, breathing through each contraction as they became more intense. When Kathi stomped her boots off at the front door, I was lying in the hallway at the top of the stairs moaning through a contraction. I was aware that my primal brain had taken over, and my body was devoted solely to birthing.

I hovered over the toilet when Kathi appeared in the doorway wearing a brown shirt reading, ‘Midwives help people out.’

‘I like your shirt,’ I said followed with a moan and I went to my knees in the hallway. Dan helped me up. ‘I want to get in the shower.’ The contractions were becoming more and more difficult, and supposedly water helped. The shower was nothing but a nuisance. I curled up on the shower floor and whimpered for my mom. Dan helped me out of the shower, and as I moaned through another contraction on the bathroom floor, I looked at him. ‘I can’t do this.’ Boom. There it was. Self-doubt. I knew this meant the end was near, or at least nearer. I needed to lay down. I couldn’t be walking around anymore. As I walked to the bedroom I looked at Kathi, ‘I’m not getting a break here.’

‘Yes. Keep working Maria. You are doing fine.’

Okay, so this was normal. I was supposed to be having one contraction after the next. I lay on the bed, as the moon glowed through our big bay window and sky lights. I moaned as Dan stroked my hair and Katy, one of the other midwives, sat nearby. It was one continuous contraction now, ebbing and flowing but never tapering off. I closed my eyes and commanded my cervix to open with the contractions that flowed one after the next. ‘This hurts.’ Open. Open. Open.

‘Maria, when you feel the urge to push, let me know,’ Katy instructed.

Push? I couldn’t believe it. Then with the next contraction, there it was.

Katy checked me, ‘I’m not feeling anything, so that means you are fully dilated.’

Relief. I was in transition, and with the next contraction, I rolled over on the bed to my hands and knees. If I knew one thing, it was that I did not want to give birth on my back. Facing Dan, I pushed. Each contraction crashed and I bore down and pushed from my core. I waited for them to say the magical words, ‘I see the head.’ But none came. I pushed more. Frustrated, tired, sweaty, ‘Are we getting anywhere?’ I thought pushing was the easy part.

‘Remember,’ Kathi said, ‘Your baby has to move around your pubic bone.’

Oh yea. I pushed with the next few contractions. I pictured my baby as he moved through my pelvis. With each contraction, I visualised him moving around my pubic bone. There! I felt him move. I felt his head slide down. We were working together, me and my baby.

‘Push until each contraction ends,’ one of the midwives instructed, ‘Really bear down.’

Dan fed me water through a straw that tasted like metal. Someone must have filled it at the tap instead of the filter. He wiped my forehead with a wet cloth. Each push I bit down on my lower lip, pushing the baby down.
Finally Kathi said, ‘Give me your hand and you can feel your baby’s head.’

It was slimy, and it distracted me to touch it. I focused my mind and body back to birthing. Next Contraction: push; push; push. Drink water. Catch breath. Repeat.

His head began to come through. ‘You are stretching very nicely,’ one of the ladies said, as they lathered my bottom with olive oil. ‘With the next contraction you are going to push and then blow it off. Ease this baby out.’

I turned toward the trio of women, ‘so am I pushing or blowing?’
They coached me as each contraction came. Push, then blow it off. Push, then blow it off. I felt his head as it came slowly out, and looked at Dan with each contraction.

At last, ‘With your next contraction, you are going to push your baby out.’

Time stood still. The moon glowed down over Dan’s face and we stared at each other. The snow continued to fall outside, and we waited. The final contraction came, and the urge to push followed, and with a plop the baby dropped onto the bed. Purple-gloved hands quickly dried and capped his wet head.

I turned. It is a boy. It’s my baby boy.

‘Did you catch the time?’ Kathi asks. ‘Yes, 7:54.’ A blanket wraps itself around him as he is pressed against my chest.

Shaking, I fall against the wall, holding mybaby. Dan is next to me, kissing my sweaty forehead. I press my baby against me and breathe.

Kathi demonstrates with ease how to breast feed, and as he is suckling, just moments after birth, they listen to his heart and lungs. Ten minutes later, I curl up in a contraction and expel the placenta.

The following hours were filled with normal birth technicalities. The midwives made us breakfast, and Kathi monitored me closely in the shower and getting to and from the toilet. His apgar score at one minute was an 8 and at five minutes, a perfect 10. We took bets on what the baby weighed, and at a healthy 8 pounds 10 ounces, my guess was closest. I did not have an episiotomy, and only tore minimally, and certainly not enough to warrant stitches. Kathi gave us instructions and literature on how to keep the baby warm, monitor his temperature, pulse, and heart rate. We were given explicit instructions to call at any sign of change. I also was under strict bed rest, and we were given information on how to monitor my temperature, blood flow, etc. They remained with us until it was clear that both Timbre and I were healthy and it was clear we’d be safe left alone. They came for follow-up visits the next day and the fourth day.

I did it this way for me. To prove that I could do it, to prove it was possible to engage in a healthy pregnancy, preparing vigorously for a difficult task, and accomplishing what I set out to do. I would love my son the same no matter what sort of birth experience I had. But I wanted the authentic birth experience, the real deal, and I wanted to experience birth in the intimate way intrinsic to its design. This was the birth of my child. I will never give birth to this child again, and I wanted it my way without interruptions, and without having to protect my birth from a system built on interruptions.

I gave birth at home trusting that my body wouldn’t fail me, and it worked. My body worked exactly the way it was supposed to, and it didn’t need any medical assistance. The incredible capabilities of the female body still blows my mind. If men could have such understanding. It was difficult, but it was not impossible. It was painful, but not unmanageable. Everything in birth had its purpose, and my body knew that. I believed it, my midwives believed it, and nothing interrupted that process. When I doubted myself, the people around me did not.

Shortly after he was born I called my mom. She said, ‘You got the birth you wanted, Maria.’

‘I know. I wish you could have seen it.’

Timbre was Kathi’s 500th birth. He was born in a blizzard at 7:54 am on the morning of Friday January 21, 2011 under the light of a full moon.

From C-Section to Home Birth

by Amy Loomis
I feel so blessed to have had the chance to welcome the women of Dance of Life Midwifery into my life. What a wonderful experience it was to have them with me as
I welcomed the arrival of my second child (my daughter) with them by my side.

My birth story is more of a journey in that it actually began with the birth of my first child. To keep it brief, for my first pregnancy, I never really considered or even
thought about a homebirth for myself. It was important to me to have a pregnancy and delivery that was calm, peaceful, empowered and natural, and I thought I
could accomplish this goal by working with a midwife, but I was working with a midwife that oversaw deliveries in hospital settings only. I had an easy pregnancy and all was well until I arrived at the hospital. In short, it was deemed after several hours that I was not where they needed me to be in terms of dilation and I felt the entire process taken from my control. My first pregnancy resulted in everything I never wanted…epidural, petocin, lots of fear based intervention, and yes, a c-section. To say that I was heartbroken does not even begin to describe what I was feIt; I was so happy to meet my son (to this day he is perfect and wonderful), but I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit that I felt his arrival was overshadowed by a sense of loss, grief, sadness and guilt. If you’ve ever watched the film The Business of Being Born…there you have my experience. FTP, or Failure to Progress was my “condition”.

I share with you the story of my first birth experience because, without it, I wouldn’t
have the journey of my second. I became pregnant with my second child fifteen
months after my son was born. My husband and I wanted our children close in age,
so I was very excited….followed by a second emotion of fear. Fear of the delivery.
I knew with all of my being that there had to be a better way. Enter Dance of Life
Midwifery. Kathi and Katy are not a better way….they are the only way.

I met Kathi when I was about 8 weeks along and pretty much cried throughout
my first visit with her (pretty sure I cried through the second and third, too). I
had been working on and praying to heal my feelings of grief and guilt and even
anger and I have to say that I walked out of our consultation feeling like 1. I actually
met someone who completely understood me 2. I found the care provider I was
meant to be with and 3. that I was taking a serious and strong step in my road to
healing…spiritually, emotionally, mentally….ALL of it. Kathi encompasses every
attribute that every woman should have by her side while pregnant…she’s so full
of love, peace, knowledge, warmth, compassion, nurturing….one of the few people I
have met in my life that has truly found their calling.

So the pregnancy care was wonderful…I really enjoyed the recommended reading
and videos from Kathi and also felt that while I was learning and growing spiritually
during this second pregnancy, I was also learning and healing from the c-section.
Every month brought further understanding, strength and resolution that I would
have the birthing experience that I desired. It sounds weird, but I also found
forgiveness. I forgave myself and I let go of the anger and disappointment I felt
surrounding the hospital experience.

It came up at one of my appointments that Kathi be unavailable August 5 and 6, due
to prior commitments to be out of town. My due date was August 5, but I wasn’t
worried, as I knew that I was in good hands regardless and that those who were
meant to be physically by my side would be. I also had a feeling that this meant
I would probably deliver one of those two days!! Sure enough, at about 2am on
August 5, I felt the very beginnings of labor. I called Katy at 10am to check in and
again at 12pm or so and she came right over. Let me say this…in the course of my
appointments with Kathi I had the chance to get to know Katy and felt completely
comfortable with her. I also knew that there would be reinforcements with her and
that I would have exactly the right group of women supporting me. I did feel sad
Kathi couldn’t be with us…but only because I wanted to share my day with her, not
because I felt she NEEDED to be there. Katy exudes all that a midwife should…that
sense of love, peace, serenity and….important during the birthing process….quiet
understanding, a gentle knowing, and firm support. Katy had along with her Allie
and Laurie and they were wonderful and just complemented the entire process (as
did my husband!). I felt and was surrounded by true professionals.

I had active labor until about 4pm or so at which point I was far enough along to
start pushing. I later teased Katy that she guided me through the circuit training of
birthing a baby. When it was clear that a water birth wasn’t going to happen, we
cycled through birthing techniques in the shower, bed, floor, birthing stool and a few
others. After hours of pushing and “circuit training”, I delivered via the birthing stool
(I know, I can’t believe it either) and welcomed my sweet, perfect daughter.
Looking back, I remember that I never really felt tired, only excited and even curious
to see how it would unfold. Katy is phenomenal. I know at one point I looked at her
as I was on the birthing stool and said “I don’t want to get discouraged” and she
said “Then don’t, everything is going great”. Such support, such love….so what we
need and they freely provide.

I have come so far in my journey and in my healing and could not have done
it without Kathi and Katy. I was over 35 for the birth of both of my children,
I had a c-section…so to many, I was not a “candidate” for a vaginal birth,
much less a homebirth. I say fight the fight. Be your own advocate. I hear the
word “empowering” when it comes to natural birth or home birth and it is true, but
I have to say for me it was also more than that….it was a reclamation. I reclaimed
what is inherently natural (something I thought I lost the first time around). Turns
out I never lost anything, but with the right care for me (Dance of Life), I simply
welcomed into my life the way birthing IS.
I am incredibly humbled and grateful to have had Kathi and Katy with me through the pregnancy and birth of my daughter. My journey was an educational one and I have to say that I am very grateful for my first birthing experience because without it, I wouldn’t have the experience of my second and BOTH have given me what I need to be the person I am today….stronger, better and with a story and a healing to share.

Claire’s Birth

by Stephanie Endres
I was due on January 20th. This was my sixth baby and all of my previous babies were born within 4 days of my due date, one even on my due date. In November we started looking into the possibility of a home birth. Kathi was highly recommended by two friends. When we started talking to people about having a home birth we were surprised how many people we knew had home births and had Kathi as their midwife. After meeting with Kathi
and Katy we felt much more comfortable with having a home birth and they felt 
we were good candidates.
I started having contractions a week before I was due and anticipated going into labor soon. Unfortunately I had contractions on and off for three weeks. Finally on January 31st I started having labor contractions at about 11:30 in the morning. It was a beautiful 55 degree day so I went for a walk to try and keep the contractions going. I had an appointment with Kathi at 2:30 and she confirmed that things were finally progressing and I was dilated to about 2-3. I was so happy to know we were finally going to be having our baby girl. I just didn’t realize how quickly she would come.
My husband, Kevin, was in Gaylord for a meeting and due back around 5:00. After my appointment with Kathi I had to pick up one of our sons, Noah, from school at 3:30 and get all the kids suitcases packed and then I had to drop Noah and the suitcases off at my in-laws. I got home around 4:30 and contractions were getting more intense. Kevin arrived home a 5:20 and by that point I was getting very uncomfortable. I was trying hard not to ask him to do too many things at once, but in the first 15 minutes he was home he got me something to eat, starting filling the tub, got himself something to eat, and got pots of water on the stove to start boiling for when the water heater ran out of water. Kathi and Katy both commented how impressed they were with what Kevin had gotten done before they arrived.
At 5:35 I called Kathi to come help us get ready because Kevin was running from one thing to the next, the only problem was she out on a walk with her husband so she had to run home. Katy was actually able to get to our house faster and arrived at 6:00 and at that point I was having very intense contractions every 2-3 minutes. Kevin had gotten the birth tub half full and I couldn’t wait anymore and decided to get in. Kathi arrived at 6:15 and you were born at 6:35 after 20 very intense minutes of contractions.
Kathi arrived just in time! Although babies’ number four and five came rather quickly once I was in active labor, I never expected labor to progress so quickly. Although Claire Louise was 11 days late she came fast and furious when she decided she was ready!  When Kevin called our parents to tell them Claire was born they were absolutely shocked to hear from him so quickly. My mother-in-law just kept saying, “but she just left here, what do you mean the baby was born?”
Because everything happened so quickly, the last twenty minutes were extremely intense, but well worth it to have the baby at home and I can proudly say that this was my first birth without an epidural. My husband and I both were very happy with the home birth experience and if the Endres family is blessed with another baby we will definitely have them at home. I tell everyone, “I wish I would have had the other kids at home.”
Claire Louise Endres 8lbs 3ozs, 22 inches, 6:35 pm, 13 ¾” head diameter